When I was finishing up elementary school, I got a leather wallet for my birthday. Fifteen years later, as I’m finishing up college, that same wallet has finally failed me. I used it every day, so now it’s immaculate seams have burst. This is obviously a monumental catastrophe worth breaking my blog silence for. Tomorrow I will break a fifteen-year ritual by padding my right buttock with a black leather wallet, not a brown one. RIP.