Despite the 40-degree weather I went for a walk tonight to stretch my sad bones. Horrible idea because, well, it’s 40-degrees out there. And then I almost got hit by a car. Not in an exaggerate-for-humor kind of way, but the deer-in-headlights-oh-shit-I’m-really-about-to-get-pummeled kind of way. You know how sometimes you’re in a parking lot or something and a friend will drive right at you and then maybe honk and sorta scare you? This was that, except it was a stranger making a left turn at 50 MPH without noticing that THERE’S A HUMAN WALKING IN FRONT OF YOUR PATH. So we just end up with me kneecaps to bumper and hands on hood screaming and cursing and then he just drives off. If you’re going to be a douchebag and make left turns with your douchey eyes closed then at least have the balls to roll your window down afterwards and say “Hey man, sorry I almost creamed you flat into the pavement. Jesus loves you.” I was/am slightly worked up about this so pardon me. But it’s a little unnerving to be minding my business one minute and then next be hopping around from side to side hoping this Honda isn’t just about to dismember me. A pox upon your head, Midnight Driver of Rage Who is Unable to Ascertain an Upright Human from the Black Night Air in Front of Him.