Fate Means Eyeadhoo

From “My Children Explain the Big Issues” by Will Baker:

I first explained to Cole that there was no advantage in dumping the sand from his sandbox onto the patio. He would have more fun bulldozing and trucking inside the two-by-twelve frame. Heavy-equipment guys stayed within the boundaries, part of their job, and the sand would be no good scattered abroad, would get mixed with dead beetles and cat poop.

Next I warned him firmly not to shovel out his patrimony, warned him twice. The third time I physically removed him from the box and underscored my point very emphatically. At this stage, he was in danger of losing important privileges. Reasonable tolerance had aldready been shown him and there was no further room for negotiation. There was a line in the sand. Did he understand the gravity of the situation? Between whimpers, he nodded.

The last time I lifted him by his ear, held his contorted face close to mine, and posed a furious question to him: “Why? Why are you doing this?”

Shaking all over with sobs of deep grief, he tried to answer.
“Eyeadhoo, eyeadhoo!”
One more second, grinding my teeth, and the translation came to me. I had to. I had to.

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