Christmas Shopping Sucks

I hate when store clerks and employees talk to me – and with all Christmas shopping and all, it’s become a real problem for me. Overseas there are 10x the number of clerks and they all rush over to talk to you – America’s supposed to be different. It’s an affront to my liberty and freedom as an American to have store employees attempt to make conversation with me. When I’m shopping, my personal space expands from 5ft to 15ft. Stay away.

Oh sure Mr. BlockbusterMan you probably do know more than Roeper, but you certainly aren’t Ebert and I have no desire to hear your banal commentary on the movie I’m trying to rent. Yes MissHotTopic, I realize I’m the only non-Abercrombie kid in here, but that blank annoyed expression on my face is because I’m shopping in your stale homogenized teenybopper mall-ized version of a punk store so do not ask me about it. And for what it’s worth, you say “out of” when receiving payment and “your change is” when giving the $0.56 difference in cost/payment. Not the other way around.

Oh and just so I don’t sound too negative I want to give my shopping award to Best Buy for only asking me the minimal number of questions required for a sales transaction. Only thing Mr.BestBuy did wrong was ask me the idiotic “did you find everything ok?” No, I didn’t. Yes, it’s your fault, but it’s also because of the other 3million of us shopping on a Saturday just so we can press our bosoms and non-deodorized bodies against each other while we inch your way through the aisles. Christmas is in the air.

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